Clients & Guests

It was a dark and stormy night somewhere in the world but not where the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble and Bicker deposed their most global client, A Pocketful Of Climate Change . Join in madness and listen to them discuss uncle under the trailer, mugged by starfish, HBO Slacks, granddad jokes galore, Uncle Frank, a giant warning label, unexplored places, a trend in kneecap, TikTok is listening, Trump supporter stepdad, Buttlick, Alabama , I got no snowballs, better sex parties, Italy, Straits...

With Brendan's recent arrival to his new temporary home in Portland, Oregon , the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker examine a new client, Culture Shock-a Khan . The deposition covers Greg's sweaty nipples, the dropsy, chicken and bees, smart mart, rickets, patriotic pants, Circle Jerks , baby alligator, stink eye, Thelma & Louise , Wong Foo, Patrick Swayze , feather boa, Wesley Snipes , hi grandfather, John Leguizamo , chocodile, face diaper, anti- Pfizer , little spit horse, glazed appe...

In a rare circumstance where bad humor takes a back seat to a semi-intellectual discussion, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker (minus Brendan who is prepping for his move to Oregon) entertain author and cultural anthropologist Dr. Dan Chodorkoff by discussing his newest book, Sugaring Down and also discussing Brazilian hair removal, Viet Nam , seductiveness violence can have, U.S. imperialism, ho ho ho Chi Minh, more morons, Margaret Mead , computerphobic, the Enlightenment, Trump the...

Having had enough of exciting clients, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicke r take a break to unburden themselves with a simple client, Small Talk and Small Minds . They casually extract information like Fox News , smuggler f--ks, Saltine crackers, Tourette's, the monster from Florida , thirst traps, beep boop, big talk, Toblerone , marzipan, Laffy Taffy , Lemonheads , I'm a Skittles guy, heavy metal werewolves, okay Sara, steamer trunk, color flavor, local glaciers, round robin, vampire...

The three non-lawyers embrace their next client, Video Games Killed The Pinball Star with a verve never before seen...not really. Instead they deliberate Beep Boop, pachinko, André The Giant , one thousand monkeys, Bad News Bears , Dig Dug , Down Under Kong, gravity well, ghost missiles, joystick & a button, 16 bit boobies, Oscar Wilde , ferret and pelican, Iowa hurricanes, Martian hemlock, spaghetti tacos, Blame It On The Sake, the gerbil dies, Sim wormhole and a tiny bit of squabbling. Buy our...

Kicking off their newest season, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker bring on a new guest counsel to tackle the client, The Ways You Are Stupid . Comedian Daniel 'Papi' Gonzalez engages the trio with discussions about Kissimmee , daddy, we're not funny, a day job, car jack, digging for that penis, shoulders of giants, the stench, do normal things, regular fat, MAGA hat, stalkerish, jizz money, Blind Melon , lacrosse, a hurricane story, gay English, Bad Bunny , occasionally racist, mofo...

In commemoration of the second anniversary of the podcast Law Offices Of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker , a host of stars came together for the second annual Step Up To The Bar Association Legal Conference & Awards Banquet to receive the highly coveted yet unknown Quibbly Award ! The cohosts were Brendan Haggerty, Greg Petix and Matt Bratschi and a multitude of recipients across North America arrived to receive their Quibblys. Some awardees included: filmmaker/playwright Marc Morales , author and s...

As we reach the final episode of season 4, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker make a lame attempt at fake criminal law when helping the client, Those Who Pry Thighs Choose Lies . They bog their arguments down by instead discussing borts and glorts, narcissism in action, tangenital, nude wrestling, pierced sacks, consensual prying, Gary Busey , Rip Taylor , confetti, Greg-O-Matic, caveman club, Jean Claude Van Damme , they're morons, Steven Seagal , Under Siege 2 , no name actor, when ...

Murderous clients are no strangers to the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker and today is no different when the client, Gun Control Is Fun Control , enters their chambers. As they determine their best course of defense, they discuss the Quibblys, processed turkey ovals, Tamarindo Mexicali, Canada is like Sweden , every gun gets a vote, old bullet parts, kill someone in a haunted house, Jack the Ripper , Americans are crazy, don't disrespect the dart, Thomas Jefferson , snorting cocaine an...

In a pathetic attempt at rhyming, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker trawl and catch a brand new client, Ports of Sports Thwart Jorts . As they determine the most effective means of representing this client, they brainstorm about Greedo, white hegemony, Pinterest , Hall of Justice, Norm McDonald , cultural appropriation, poop bars, frisbee golf hooligans, Highlander , Martin Scorsese , non-smarty pantses, a football port, Rocky , Big Bone Lick , whipped sour cream, zamoboner, The Warr...

The Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker are preparing themselves for interstellar legal clientele while working with their first off-world client, Are You Ready For Alien Sex? As they carpe diem, they also converse about UFOs and UAPs, collusions, Black Lives Matter , Tucker Carlson , defund the police, marsh gas, Alien Ant Farm , mountains are our overseers, probing hillbillies, Neil Young , Jim Beam , cornpone, eye jizz, Cthulhu , Avatar , space cows, H.R. Giger , laser spoons, old babie...

Reveling in the return of Brendan, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker celebrate by playing a game with their newest client, Kill, Marry or Fornicate Your Pork . Many words are bandied about including only fetish wear, dungeon master, culinary stuff, pocket rocket, the Black Hand, deliver happiness, a cell fern, Sir Richard Burton , fancy pants, drink dirt, Spy Smasher , talking nipples, a chub, Viet Nam in the 80s, they killed the poop baby, bodies are appearing, the Young Abortionist...

Delving into the controversies of the day, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker have a conflated client in the form of Roe Vs. Wait A Minute Amber Heard That! While developing the fake case they discuss SCOTUS Seltzer, Don King , Politico , Julian Assange , Jersey Shore , so many woman, a lapsed Catholic, Fat Cat In The Hat, sea monkeys, menthol bourbon, goat rodeo, pygmy marmoset, tumescent orange, Pendleton Roundup, Yellowstone , Timothy McVeigh , The Gong Show , vaginal whatever, the...

Finally, after months of inoperation, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker sees the return of their third partner while they discuss their newest client, The Case Of The Missing Brendan . The conversation veers into the topical and mundane when they discuss Twitter , Elon Musk , Pleeps, Allan Sherman , Brendan is back, adrenaline shot, unincorporated square, Baltimore hillbillies, rabbit hole, Covid, Voicebox, fargin' bastage, blood of Protestants, Rachel Maddow , the Incredible Shrinki...

In the second of a special two part series, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker continue the minor fake legal strategy session and revisit Matt's lack of friends while also helping the client, The Orchestra of Evil (and Emptiness) , with guest fake attorney and author of the book One Nation Under Song , Dr. L. Kris Gowen . They also investigate Bob Seger , some weird American, Steve Martin , the Newfies, Team Arkansas, don't have good words, Science on Tap , science songs, themes are f...

In a special two part series, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker hold a minor fake legal strategy session and uncover their origins while also helping the client, The Orchestra of Evil (and Emptiness) , with guest fake attorney and author of the book One Nation Under Song , Dr. L. Kris Gowen . Together they address jangalang, Piggy Stardust, what does that mean, whipped it up, Dementia 101, empty orc, Klingon karaoke, George Orwell , just simpatico, Milli Vanilli , there is birds, fla...

Returning to their roots, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker get in some extra squabbling and bickering when they deal with their newest client, You Just Don't Care . If you ever wanted to know what they're all about, this is probably the evidentiary trial they've held as they talk about Ant My Problem, Ground Force, look at the post office, he's like Ant-Man , Pied Piper, look at me, Henry VIII , he lives in the future, fix your computer, I'm Fred Flintstone , Doom Patrol , no prize ...

The Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker venture into dark territory when their client, Take This Job and Gently Insert In Your Rectum , finds a hole in their logic and makes them discuss Dodgy Daycare, Johnny Two Nose, Good Fellas , concrete Keds, must find grub, Buddy Holly , cook their lettuce a club club, Gorg, Ugg, Zog, Zod and Zed , pterodactyl tea, like the bear thing, Rasputin was a robot, Mystic Grifter, Marilyn Manson , Tennessee tick soup, all they had were varmints, mad squirrel...

As fake lawyers, Matt and Greg (and the on-sabbatical Brendan) often take their pretense to a point of not taking fake legal stances at all. This newest client, Singin' Outta The Box , is also not given the proper attention by the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker . Instead of addressing the lawsuit the client is embroiled in, they instead discussed TwinkerBell, William Shatner , all about fairies, scullery maids, shooting stars, they just got old, rub my nipples, Ellen Degeneres ' Coffe...

The incredibly unathletic and uncoordinated partners of the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker find various ways to relate to their newest client, Five Finger Exploding Spleen Technique , that needs the full mental capacity of the entire fake law office to address green vomit, there is no if, TikTok is stupid, savate, Greg is on a boat, sex hammock, nail 'em in the crotch, West Side Story , Kung Glu, numb chucks, ninjitsu, Thievery Corporation , goldenrod, beat up the jocks, Street Fighte...

The Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker have entered entertainment law by compiling a list of the top five million television shows of all time minus about 4,999,997. The deposition took longer than normal as they encountered sandworms, sleestak, C.H.U.D. , Earth Force, until life changes, Herman's Head , actor dude, the world of Baltimore , Newark , Gunsmoke , Star Blazers , Walker: Wedding Planner, a historical sitcom, useless human, a cunning plan, off the housewives, a psychotic kitche...

The Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker take on an international legal client in their non-lawyer way when new client, I Can See Clearly Now Ukraine Is Gone, stumbles through their doors. John Vorhaus , author of the Little Book on Stand Up , provides insight from his time in Russia as a contributing fake lawyer as they talk about Sid & Nancy, Krakatoa , Joust , the little book of anal cysts, a podcast slut, they lost their maps, turn Covid down, cat house, J.D. Salinger , information auth...

A potential for real crime in a hole in the ground drives a brand new client to the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker while Greg and Matt tackle Ten Steps To Be A Spelunking Junkie. This client causes a lively discussion about Space Force, Alderon scabies, gleep glop, Jules Verne , the Burp Force, potholing, vaudevilleans, that chocolate habit, one slave in every bite, alien planet, Walt Disney World , Green Arrow , Richie Rich , a dog butler, Harvey Pekar , tweakers, try meth today, the...

With Brendan still on sabbatical, it is up to the senior partners of the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker to take over new clients like Teddy Bear's Freedom Convoy and give them the best fake legal advice possible. Issues addressed were last responder, ringy dingy, Smokey and the Bandit , CB Savage , incredibly homophobic, Greg Evigan , fancy monkey, Clint Eastwood , ninjas, Gilligan's Island , cowboy hat, fun party night, catfishing truckers, give ya a lube job, alchemy, Justin Bear Tr...