Clients & Guests

Scott Valentine , most well-known for his part as Nick from the TV show Family Ties (essentially another guest counsel much more famous than the fake lawyers), arrives to teach them the limits of their talents while eventually addressing today's client, You Light Up My Life Sustainably . The conversation gets frequently off track while discussing the Grand Fromage, showrunners and morons, the Art Of Being Nick , Hollywood fornications, Black Scorpion , Mr. Big Dick, hiding from Girl Scouts, sock...

The Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker start off the new year with the legendary character actor and guest counsel Larry Hankin who later helps us handle the client Homo Sapiens: Love It Or Leave It. It's a wild ride exploring Larry's life as secrets get uncovered, such as: fire eagle scout, infant fan followings, hibachi in a van, shrimp in a napkin, Woody Allen's barf, Petfix, John Huston's Italian shoes, Dylan's outside, dogcatcher onesies, apples in space, Mike Tyson chicken and a Fre...

As we stare across the threshold towards the year 2021, we collectively thumb our noses and give the finger to the year 2020 by recapping every frickin' client acquired by the Law Offices Of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker as our final 2020 client, although none of them have paid any bill we sent. Even while discussing our new client, it seems impossible to stay on track as the following were conversed about: thanking Timothy Leary, enter the Skunkman, the Don-Rhino Connection, cobra versus schoolbu...

As the virulent year 2020 draws to a close, the anti-lawyers obfuscate their way into a quasi-holiday program with their newest client, Happy Chrismakwanzakhaaannn!! Leaving many opportunities untouched, listen as they bypass normal conversation and talk about Festivus, decorating Jeb Bush, loaves and witches, roasting Ewoks, Chanukah in a vial, Klingons and sex clubs, dancing for squids, the kings of stupid, proud duck rapists and Answer Your Cat's Questions Day. Next week brings our year-end ...

It seems like only yesterday when a cute little virus showed up and shut down the world. Now, eight months later, the Law Offices Of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker have snared the perfect client, Social Media Distancing to bring some meaning to it all. You'll find out about discount genies, Erkel and vampires, the Chosen One, the Xerox of elevators, poop balloons, left wing militias, breast dust and Zuckerberg's complexion. It's okay to pass this information down to future generations. Find all ou...

Perhaps one of the most sought after of clients, Killing Me Softly With Han Solo, has placed a large retainer for the services of the Law Offices Of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker in order to gain sympathetic movie rights. This episode has EXTRA SQUABBLE FLAVOR for your dining pleasure. It includes: Darth Joker, Jabba the Hutt as Bernie Sanders, space tattoos, the chick with the tubes, Adam Driver's nose, celebrity gag balls, the carrot people family, SuperJedi, camels in caves, Nurse Jackie, Chewba...

The Law Offices Of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker have over 150 years of non-experience practicing non-law and have roped in the perfect client for their 23rd, Aging Is Fun And Hard On The Knees. The normal issues are discussed specifically old man medical issues but then, as usual the client is neglected as they talk about gravity punishing them, wheat germ & honeysuckle, twitchin' frickin' maniac, the Guh in Google, flipper babies, Florida and its unique stupid, never drive on acid and what the ...

As the turkey arrives on your plate and the cranberry sauce crawls off, the Law Offices Of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker bring you a special Thanksgiving Day special episode that has absolutely nothing to do with Thanksgiving. The new client, Heroes Are Super And Delicious, makes many demands of your favorite fake lawyers by suggesting they have super powers of their own. In the midst of it, they also mention crunchy diamonds, rocket poop, Petix Man, Galactus Intolerance, Captain Super Amazing, Cap...

The terrible triumvirate heads back to court to bring situation comedies before a judge and jury that don't exist. Yes, Sitcoms On Trial are their newest client. The following exhibits get explored: Fonzie the Lothario, Covid school, Neil Patrick Harris, white anglo saxon jews, Otis the lovable drunk, Oomah!, big black eyeballs, CGI babies, a bad case of sunspots, lynchapalooza and batface. If you want the show's quality to get better, show you care and interact. Email qsblawoffices@gmail.com, t...

The votes have been counted and the votes have been ignored by President Trump. This means the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker have entered the arena to make sure their twentieth client, A Steaming Pile of Democracy, is maintained in a pure form. In the middle of the controversy and intrigue, many players are unearthed, these include Darth Brooks, Reagan in a towel, 2 Presidents One Cup, Congressional cage matches, Tinder for Dogs, Frosty the Snow Representative, Fetus Christ, the new ...

The Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker obtain their most contentious client yet, Ballots, Bullets & Burgers . This client raises the blood pressure of each of the pseudo lawyers as the current U.S. Presidential election process is discussed. However, this does not deter them from extra special territories as they converse about: aisle football, really bad sandwiches, the douchiest of bags, anal squeaking, Mad Max, the bubishery system, metaphysical plates, Batboy, sweet mushrooms and A C...

Has the Abominable Snowman festered in your dreams? Has the Chupacabra sucked your goat? Well, have no fear as your incredibly brave non-legal team face monsters of your childhood with Client Number 18, especially yo mama. This particular rabbit hole finds an unholy menagerie including: the Choking Doberman, dog finger, cow dreams, Bigfoots from outer space, the Jersey Goat, Gumberoo, Batsquatch, the Albino Kangaroo and the Stupid Hole. Moisten your fingertips, place them in your friends' ears ...

Holy moley, Batsquid! The Law Offices Of Quibble, Squabble and Bicker have brought in guest counsel to depose their newest client, Irish Halloween Turnip. Portland, Oregon-based comedian and founder of the Portland Queer Comedy Festival , Belinda Carrol provides a welcome respite from the normally yammering of our fake lawyers. The discussion ranges in many areas from Stingy Jack, Abortion Man, Tarantino scat and porn extras to sexy Frankenstein, sacred potatoes, octopus on a stick, Covid test f...

Today, your fearsome threesome dive right into their newest client, Entertainment Is Bad For You. How bad, you may ask. Pretty bad. A gamut of concepts are explored so there is probably one for you! Things start off with mustache rides and move on to transvestite clowns, people puzzles, making fishhooks, A Tent In The Woods, spotted dick, penguin mermaids, generic sports teams and denial as entertainment. To communicate with the fake lawyers, email qsblawoffices@gmail.com or tweet 'em @qsblawoff...

Your intrepid pseudo -lawyers wrangle up a new client, With Friends Like You, Who Needs Friends to attempt to pay the rent on their non-existent offices. A bromance is narrowly avoided while the very fake lawyers attempt to sound knowledgeable but instead ignore their client's basic needs. Territory covered includes: crack friends, butt pencils, ear sex, foil fences, when friends go bad, The Baking Housewives Of New Jersey, zeta males and duck penises. Have a listen but don't let your boss or ...

Deep in the darkest jungles of Africa, you will not find the Law Offices Of Quibble, Squabble and Bicker. Only here, in the bowels of the internet. This week's client, Habits Of Infernal Origin Part 2, strikes far too close to home to the infernal soulless non-lawyers. All sorts of thingies are discussed including: spin the donkey, lesbian whistling, ball stomping, ear scraping, shopping cart magic and mother-in-law experiments . Please leave us a voice message on our Anchor page or email/Tweet...

Deep in the darkest jungles of Africa, you will not find the Law Offices Of Quibble, Squabble and Bicker. Only here, in the bowels of the internet. This week's client, Habits Of Infernal Origin, strikes far too close to home to the infernal soulless non-lawyers. All sorts of nastiness are discussed including: presidential profanity, golden nasal nuggets, toilet ponies, gleeking, public urination, sex at McDonald's, Zog and Gleek the caveman odd couple and the Catapult Chair. This long consulta...

Clients seem to be knocking down the doors of the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker. We Don't Need No Stinkin' Age Limits has plopped down a retainer for the full unreal firm treatment. Areas of discussion include the Warlocks Of Tinder, the king of Transylvania, QAnon's magic bar of soap, if a gamer were president, shooting elderly from cannons, sheep driving, when assassins marry teenagers and Arnold on heroin. To experience more wisdom from the never lawyers, message them at qsblawoff...

Heading into divorce court, our unqualified non-lawyers combine the unlikeliest of couples, marriage and glue sniffing. As per usual, shortly after pretending to be interested in the client, the bombastic, belittling, boorish, bogus barristers feed on their egos and discuss The Coffee Nap, Tesla's haircut, the Rusty Testicle, and Paula, their only fan. We only guarantee one laugh per episode, any extras will be charged double. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to m...

The ersatz attorneys claw their way into another non-courtroom to take school subjects ON TRIAL! If you've ever wanted to completely eliminate certain school subjects, this is the episode for you. After an initial volley interrogating algebra and lauding civics, our intrepid trio diminish any hope for lucidity by adding lifecycles to history classes, attempting to understand Space Force, eliminating art, introducing the concept of lingerie roller derby, secular humanist bowling leagues and the...

The terrific trio match wits with a false family law case when they meet their tenth client, Diets & Their Bastard Children. Beginning, as usual, with taking the client seriously, the tenacious triumvirate devolve quickly into discussions involving manatee molestation, freaks in Florida, celebrity regurgitation, spirit animals, morbid obesity and Michael Phelps. Listening to this episode might be hazardous to your intestinal tract. Beware! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easies...

Our smug, self-important narcissist returns from a family vacation and commandeers our ninth client, Vacations: Friend Or Foe! Whilst preening, the conversation still goes its own way and envelops driving way too fast in Europe, orgasmic Life Savers (butterscotch, by the way), the beauty of Yellowstone, the Grand Tetons and Glacier National Park, close encounters with polar bears and bison and using lawn mowers to remove snakes. Strap in! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easies...

Seeking a classier clientele, the faux lawyers unfortunately hitch their wagons to a client revered and ridiculed by many: zombies. On the road to figuring out what this is all about, many diversions are taken. Somehow the conversation enters the Covid-19 mask debate, Facebook is run by zombies, the taste and quality of brains with eggs, can ghouls be zombies if they're ghouls, zombie porn and are tree cities better than prisons. Feel free to communicate via twitter or email: @qsblawoffices o...

Our most serious client arrived today: Revolution In The Air. The scatterbrained trio of the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker think they can tackle today's current issues yet fail miserably, Somehow they misuse Bob Dylan, give a poorly understood history lesson of America's wars, misunderstand simple political concepts, expect free pizza and, understandably, find their way to Dungeons & Dragons. The best thing is they proffer no legal advice as they are not real lawyers so only you l...